By Victoria Chertok
One of my earliest memories is answering the telephone for my mother. She taught me to do this when I was only 2 1/2 years old. I’d say to the caller, “Take a message for Mommy?” Then I repeated what the caller said, my mother responded, and we handed the phone back and forth as the conversation went along.
I didn’t realize that my mother was different from other mothers until I was at a friend’s home. I was 6 years old and my friend called downstairs to her mother—and her mother answered her. She didn’t have to go downstairs, tap her mother on the shoulder, and then face her so her mother could read her lips. I was astounded!
Victoria (left) stands alongside her mother, Barbara.
Over the years, I learned a tremendous amount from my mother about hearing loss. I remember many dinner table conversations when she would explain how she was determined to remain in the mainstream using her speechreading skills, a hearing aid, and any assistive devices available at the time, such as a vibrating alarm clock. Even now, at age 84, she is passionate and continues to mentor people with hearing loss. I honestly think she has touched thousands of lives.
I studied the harp from ages 5 to 21 and performed regularly. It was heartbreaking that my mother couldn’t hear me play, even though she watched closely and felt some of the vibrations. A huge supporter of my music, she drove me for years to harp lessons and orchestra rehearsals.
Since my father had a demanding career as a physics professor, traveling extensively, and then after he died from cancer at age 46, leaving her with two young teens to raise, my mother leaned on me to be her oral interpreter. I helped her understand what others were saying at dinner parties, school visits, shopping expeditions, doctor’s appointments, and movie theaters, just to name a few. I never minded helping her (and didn’t know any differently), but I have to admit it did take up an incredible amount of time and effort to interpret.
My mother showed me how to overcome enormous obstacles while keeping a positive attitude. Her strength of spirit, drive to succeed, and advocacy for those with hearing loss continue to inspire.
Victoria Chertok is a teacher and photojournalist in Vermont. She has two adult sons and still enjoys playing the harp. This article originally appeared in the Fall 2020 issue of Hearing Health magazine.
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I do feel like something is lost when older adults are put into what feels like isolation chambers due to our hearing ability. We have something unique to contribute from the perspective of our years, and I would like us to find a way as a society to allow us to do that.