By Joe Mussomeli
Being uncomfortable can be nerve-wracking, strange, and sometimes scary. For my brother, Alex, 14, being uncomfortable is all of these things. Born with a hearing loss, Alex has felt uncomfortable so many times in his life it’s impossible to count them all. He recently found himself in an especially uncomfortable situation when he was invited for a swim and sleepover at a friend’s house.
To most teenagers, these activities aren’t uncomfortable; they’re fun. But when Alex received his invitation, he was overcome by anxiety related to his hearing loss. He worried he’d take too long to change into his swimming clothes, which include a shirt that attaches to his waterproof cochlear implant (CI). He dreaded others seeing him wear this. He feared he wouldn’t understand every word the other kids said in the pool. Above all, he was nervous the other kids would distance themselves from him because he was different.
Swimming wasn’t even the most distressing part. It was the mention of a sleepover that troubled Alex most. Just the mention of the word “sleepover” made his stomach tie into a knot. Every night, he removes his CI and hearing aid. He places the devices in a dry and store dehumidifier box, powers on the box, and then, finally, goes to sleep. Carrying out this routine at a sleepover would be, in theory, extremely difficult. Alex would have to keep his hearing devices on while talking to his friends at night. At the conversation’s end, Alex would have to take off his devices, but if it resumed, he would have to go through the hassle of putting his devices back on, or he would have to be left out. The whole situation would be unconventional and nerve-wracking for him. Essentially, it would be uncomfortable.
Alex was so uncomfortable that he almost declined the invitation until our dad pointed him in a different direction. The morning before the sleepover, Alex asked Dad if he should go to his friend's house. My dad told him that he should. Alex was quiet for a moment before he poured out all of his anxiety. He told him about how nervous he was and all of his other discomforts. Dad responded, “I won’t tell you what to do, but I will tell you this: Do you want to be uncomfortable your whole life, or are you willing to take a chance?” He left Alex to think over these words.
In the end, Alex didn’t go to the sleepover, but he went for a swim. Yes, it did take him longer than the other kids to change for the pool, and yes, he didn’t hear every word his friends said in the pool. But he still went, he dove into a pool of discomfort, dealt with it, and to his surprise, he had a bit of fun. He texted my dad an hour later asking if he could stay until at least 9 PM. My dad replied with three words: “If you’re comfortable.” Alex replied with two: “I am.”
